From Debate To Dialogue

Jul 24

Jul 24 From Debate To Dialogue

Two people debating, each one of them behind a podium, in an orange-purple background with a central point of luminous light….this is an image that to a leader represents leadership. It is also an image that helped a leader shift his approach to rigorous thinking.

I use images to assess leaders and guide them in leadership development. The model is called Visiva Leadership®. In this blog, we explore real-life case studies of the model at work. Let’s take a look now at this image.

A waste of time?

At the time this leader sent me this image, he was in the C-suite of a highly-recognized prominent organization. He was the Chief Scientific Officer (CSO) and he was—as many people in this position are—brilliant. Absolutely off-the-chart-smart. Some colleagues went as far as calling him an international thought leader in his field. Yet something was getting in the way of his being effective as a leader. In his CEO’s words, he was not aware of the detrimental impact he had on his colleagues and the organization. When he was told by his CEO to work with me on his leadership style, he was bewildered. I was certainly not his first choice for how he wanted to use his time; very directly and openly he said to me that this was a waste of his time—he didn’t understand what this coaching engagement was supposed to accomplish. He started painstakingly questioning me on the what, how, when, and why. I almost couldn’t keep up with his unrelenting questioning and there was no way I was going to bring value in his mind. When I asked him to send me an image that to him represented leadership, he was at a loss for words.

Images as safe bridges

Images are powerful connectors. Psychiatrist Carl Jung described images as bridges that help us bring to consciousness what is held unconsciously within ourselves. They reveal the often-hidden forces—beliefs, experiences, fears, etc.—that drive our personal interactions, behaviors, choices, and decisions. Images are safe bridges because they are neither right nor wrong; there is no such thing as a ‘good’ image or a ‘bad’ image. It was through the image he selected that I was able to start a dialogue with this leader.

Two: a symbol of confrontation and duality

The image is of two men standing at podiums in a debate. The podium in this image is a raised area on which a person stands to speak. It is a rigid structure functioning as a framework for the speakers, who are actively debating.

As the image comes at us all at once, we can immediately say that we are in the archetype of Duality. One of the first things I noticed in this image is that the two figures representing two men debating are behind two distinctive podiums. On each podium there are two microphones.

The number two and its symbolism is prominent in our image. The number two is the first number that separates. The one becomes two. It separates most radically by creating opposites: black and white, night and day, matter and spirit, male and female, and so on. We all experience life in duality—in polar tension. This number is the symbol of confrontation and duality. Two gives expression to engagement which might be negative and sterile or complementary and productive.

Objectively, the aim of a debate is to convince the opposition that you are right. When the two sides agree on the subject or when one side's arguments are more convincing than the other side, the debate ends. It is as simple as that and so it was for my leader.

When I asked him why this image represents leadership, he answered, “Debate is about arguing an issue until nothing is left to discuss. It is aiming towards perfection. By doing that, we elevate what we know; we create rigor in our thinking. As leaders, we need to keep doing that.”

Intellectual rigor through continuous questioning

Debate for him was the activity that brings the arts of searching, studying, thinking, and speaking together in one place. He liked the rigor and discipline of the argument and the challenge to prove that a certain point of view was right.

As we went deeper into what the concept of debate meant for him, he shared that the purpose of debate is to express yourself and speak your heart on a given topic. The art of debating teaches you to prove your point, even if you get contradicted. Debating tests your reasoning and helps to develop essential critical thinking skills: the ability to make reasoned and well-thought-out arguments in addition to questioning the evidence behind a particular point or conclusion. Critical thinking helps you become curious about new ideas while also retaining a level of skepticism and building a healthy attitude to questioning. The ability to think on your feet and respond to questions and comments is essential while debating. A good debater will remain focused and won’t stray from the issue they are discussing. It was what his family taught him: never settle for what you think and what you know. Create debate and keep questioning yourself and others.

The impact on others

One of his drivers was the dualism of what he knew versus what the other person knew. For him, it was the driver leading him to perfection. It was a way of continuing to learn: putting himself at the center of the debate, challenging and proving to himself that he was right. As a CSO, he felt that he owed that to himself and to the organization.

In fact, for him there was no meeting in which he would not argue a hypothesis or a presentation in the name of the rigorous thinking. For him it was a “rigorous and scientific approach.” For the recipients of the debate, however, it was a devastating experience. He didn’t realize what an impact he had on people, and that some of his colleagues were leaving the organization as a result.

As we continued our work, it was clear to me that I could not use the homeopathic principle of using the same medicine with him: I could not argue and debate that his approach was not the best way to lead an organization and for him to be a successful leader. If I stayed in the same ping-pong game, I would certainly not go far in my work; or, worse, I would come out of the debate with blood on my shirt.

I wanted to take him out of the duality of debate and offer him the alternative of creating a third possibility. The image speaks to the possibility of a third option: look between the podiums…there is space and, in that space, there is a focal point of light. An energy point. A possibility of something that is not there yet but could be. The image brings that to us, and it calls us to action.

So, I started proposing alternatives to him: What does it mean to have a dialogue instead of a debate? What is the difference? What would be different for you as a leader? What would this new approach and skill add to your ‘toolbox’? I sought to leverage his desire to know, to learn, and to be curious without activating the excitable point of his own trigger: wanting to be right for the sake of the argument.

We started from the real beginning: the etymology of the words. Etymologically, debate comes from de + battuere, to fight, to discuss. Dialogue, on the contrary, comes from dia + logos, talk through. How could he develop the skill of ‘talking through’ instead of ‘talking against’?

Moving from ‘either/or’ to ‘and’

I introduced him to David Bohn and his book On Dialogue which discusses the approach to group interaction with an emphasis on listening and observation. What a very different concept from the arguing approach! And it was then through the discovery of a new approach that the ‘third’ was born. It was not an either/or approach, it was an and approach.

He started practicing the listening and observation versus the debate and winning. It was certainly not easy for him. Every day, it was a conscious effort to raise his awareness of managing his own unconscious need for debate. But it was the beginning of a transformational change! The leader is still a CSO and—while the debate drive is still there—he is ‘making space’ for listening and observing. People have recognized his effort and they have stopped leaving.

Images carry energy and call us to action. This image called the leader from a dual approach to the action of creating a third space: the space for dialogue. Images, when understood, can be most beneficial. In the words of William James: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

This image captures the creation of something new and begs the questions: Where are you in creating your ‘third’ space? What is your image of leadership?

Please contact me at letizia@letiziaamadinilane.com with your questions or comments!